Walking around Oxford, I have come to the conclusion that pigeons, though numerous, will never conquer the world until they realise that they cannot outrun a bus. If God had intended them to fly, He would have given them wings.
			The characters and situations in this diary are entirely imaginary and bear no relation to any real person or actual happenings. Any resemblance to such things is coincidental, or just for humourous effect. All names have been chosen to implicate the innocent.