Sunday, 28th September, 1997 Arrival in Flat Five. Monday, 29th September, 1997 A heady cocktail of shopping, cooking and cleaning. I don't envy housewives (or indeed househusbands). Tuesday, 30th September, 1997 The Great Ketchup Disaster. Wednesday, 1st October, 1997 Cooking problems. Thursday, 2nd October, 1997 Lisa arrives. The flat is judged to be unclean. Friday, 3rd October, 1997 Very little happens, apart from us watching a film. Saturday, 4th October, 1997 The Return Of Dave.
			The characters and situations in this diary are entirely imaginary and bear no relation to any real person or actual happenings. Any resemblance to such things is coincidental, or just for humourous effect. All names have been chosen to implicate the innocent.