Alas, the whole concept of the Flat Five Diaries must be put on ice, since it is rendered meaningless by the fact that I do not, at present, occupy Flat Five.   It is on rocks such as these that the greatest of endeavours founder. I shall not be put off by this set back. Upon taking residence in said flat, the diaries shall return. Oh yes.
			The characters and situations in this diary are entirely imaginary and bear no relation to any real person or actual happenings. Any resemblance to such things is coincidental, or just for humourous effect. All names have been chosen to implicate the innocent.