The inhabitants of Flat Five have suddenly started to go through mid-life crises. Chris is nearly twenty. I am nearly twenty. Mark is less near to twenty but is having a mid-life crisis out of sympathy. A mid-life crisis at twenty suggests we're all going to die a forty, which is a little depressing.   Twenty. Maturity is required. Not long to life insurance, pensions and hire purchase. Settling Down. Being Adult. I can't be an adult. Half of me is still eight years old, kicking through autumn leaves and jumping in puddles. Admittedly, the other half of me, the eighty year old half, tells me there's dog turds in the leaves and the puddles will only get my trousers dirty. What a life.   What makes it slightly worse is that we all did purity tests today (a test consisting of 100 questions to test how pure, sweet and innocent you are). Chris scored 74%, Mark scored 82% and I scored 90%. I'm nearly twenty and I scored 90% on a purity test. Something is not right. I seem to be missing out on the debauched student lifestyle.   We went out to the cinema this evening, with Dave, Claire and Adam Kay, to watch 'A Life Less Ordinary'. I began to worry that someone had dramatised my diaries when the ticket bore the title 'Life Ordinary', but maybe it was just trying to tell me something. The film itself was most amusing, with various quotable lines with which I can annoy my friends, acquaintances and random tramps in the street. I have further decided that Ewan McGregor is a bastard.
			The characters and situations in this diary are entirely imaginary and bear no relation to any real person or actual happenings. Any resemblance to such things is coincidental, or just for humourous effect. All names have been chosen to implicate the innocent.