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12th June If content is king, I declare myself a republic. 11th June Caffeinated peppermints and dark, dark chocolate. Food for thought, as it were. 10th June Three bikers roared past me at speed as I walked home. Presumably, in the evening gloom, the police car ahead of them looked much like any other car. 9th June Ladies and gentlemen: we regret to announce that Rome is on fire. And now, some fiddle music.... 8th June When you have nothing nice to say, say nothing. 7th June A small dog on a short leash, frantically orbiting. 6th June The sign said 'Do Not Touch'. I reached out, instinctively. 5th June I pass by a small child who is apparently furious that a vending machine only sells Pokemon toys. A cultural rebel at the age of five. He doesn't make clear which small plastic objects he would prefer. 4th June The sky is blue. Not grey, not brownish. Blue. 3rd June A dog stares at me from the back seat of a car. It conveys a sense of utter boredom and reduces me, mentally, to the same status as a bench, manhole cover or roadsign: just another object passing by on the other side of the glass. I feel rejected, dejected and faintly forlorn. 2nd June - What's that supposed to be?
1st June I wake up ten, twenty times a night, wide awake. My alarm goes off, and I sleep the sleep of the dead. 31st May New boots. Laceless DMs. I seem to be having difficulty removing them. 30th May 'Progress' meeting with my supervisor today. I hate going to meetings like this without much progress to show, but I keep doing it anyway. 29th May While idly dismembering a film cartridge, I found a piece of metal so sharp I didn't know I'd cut myself until I bled. 28th May Even slow progress would be progress. 27th May Polaroid. My thesis is going nowhere, but I've got some good photos. 26th May A conscious effort to get up at a sensible hour resulted in me getting up at midday. Things are not going well. 25th May I just can't bring myself to address the task in hand. 24th May With Sara gone, I have no choice but to write up. Life manages another little double-whammy. 23rd May :( 22nd May "If they come over here, they should dress like us. That's what I think." Yes, that's because you're a narrow-minded, xenophobic bigot you ageing harridan. Of course, I actually made no comment, and that cowardice torments me. 21st May We went to Bamburgh and Seahouses on the Northumberland coast. One of my favourite places. It rained most of the time, naturally. 20th May I'm a poor tour guide. I know nothing of my local area. 19th May A trip home for the weekend allowed Sara to see Friday night in my home town. 50-year-olds in tight leather trousers and - for nothing was left to the imagination - thongs should not be allowed out in public. 18th May A disconcerting T-shirt. It had horizontal shading lines which produced the illusion of breasts on the man wearing it. 17th May Given my usual lethargy, I should be dead after giving blood. I find myself wide awake. Clearly I'd be hyperactive if I were completely exsanguinated. 16th May Gave blood for the first time. Apparently I have small veins. Never had I had so many people urging me to bleed faster. 15th May Waking after a restless night can be quite painful. 14th May A fan not only lets me sleep on hot nights, it also drowns out the sound of birdsong. 13th May Playing Radio 1 when in the shower suggests that the only time that listening to Britney Spears is not a crime against humanity is when you listen with water-filled ears. 12th May My aunt and uncle come to visit. It's taken them four years to get round to visiting me, but better late than never. Auntie Kath realises Sara has yet to hear her stories, and talks at her. Uncle Barry and I attempt to rescue her occasionally, with little success. 11th May :) 10th May When planning on meeting Sara at the airport, I realise it would be handy to have flight numbers and times. Sara has already taken off by the time I realise this. Ah. 9th May Nurse Crowther told me: "Only take these after food, since they're nasty to your tummy lining." Madam, I'm 22. I can hear the word 'stomach' without embarrassment. 8th May The onset of RSI. The onset of a sixty page thesis. Coincidence? Probably. Life's like that, I've found. 7th May Ludicrous sights, #17: a Fiat Panda with bull bars. 6th May The Jesus-Somerville Ball. It went better than most people expected. Jenny had a good time anyway, I think. 5th May Sara's sister, Jenny, comes to visit. Nice to see her, although I'd prefer to see Sara. I'll manage a few days' wait, I think. 4th May It's part of the denial thing. 3rd May Scientific data. Don't fight it, fake it. 2nd May The careless brutality of friendship. 1st May When a deadline is a long way away, I find it hard to get motivated. When it's close at hand, I panic and do no work. Logically there should be some cross-over period where I become quite productive. Logically. 30th April I've really got a job! Someone wants to employ me! 29th April I've got a job! 28th April Caffeinated peppermints. Now even my headaches are mint flavoured. 27th April I can no longer pretend it's jet lag. I'm clearly just lazy. 26th April Jet lag. 25th April Jet lag. 24th April Jet lag. 23rd April Flying home, and I don't want to leave. Across the Atlantic, I have to sit next to an old woman who doesn't listen. I sleep as best I can. 22nd April The Frederick R. Weisman Museum of Art in Minneapolis looks like the Sydney Opera House after a collision with a giant roll of tin foil. I rather like it, but it's dazzling in the sun. 21st April Today I learned that dead skunks smell like German lager. Not your usual learning experience, but a valuable one I think. 20th April Instead of beermats, American bars have paper napkins which have to be covered in salt to stop them sticking to the glass. The tables are quite gritty. 19th April Tipping is a cause for fear. I never know who to tip, or how much to give. Caught between having to do the done thing and not wanting to spend money. 18th April Sara's car has automatic seatbelts. 17th April Saw 'High Fidelity' and 'American Psycho'. One of the advantages of being in America is being able to see films early. And then talk about them when you get home. 16th April The bouncer at a bar scrutinised my passport and quizzed me about my credentials for some minutes before finally allowing me into a bar. No, it's too hard to fake an American ID card, so I'll fake a British passport and accent. That'll be so much easier. The bar was a dive too. 15th April Lake Superior is too big. You can't call it a lake if you can't see one shore from the other. 14th April Minnesota is cold. "Unseasonably cold," apparently. But cold, all the same. 13th April Immigration officer: What is the purpose of your visit? Business or pleasure?
12th April Flying to America. The first time I've left the ground for any period of time, and it doesn't frighten me as much as it should. 11th April Packing. The Fear is with me. I've forgotten something, somewhere. 10th April I now have a fistful of dollars. 9th April Sleep. Sleep, sleep, sleep. Wake. Sleep. 8th April It's a dream. You don't ask "why?" 7th April There are lots of posters for a gig by Norris 'Da Boss' Windross. It's heartening to see that someone can become 'da boss' even with all the natural disadvantages of being called 'Norris'. [It has been pointed out to me that Norris McWhirter was also 'da boss', setting the Norris/boss precedent; clearly the name 'Norris' is no barrier to bossness. I apologise to all Norri for any perceived slur.] [It has also been pointed out to me that Norris McWhirter, whilst being 'da boss' when it comes to World Records, is also something of a right-winger with rather dubious views. Doesn't stop people called 'Norris' from being bosses, mind you.] 6th April I want to be out, playing frisbee in the sun. 5th April An evening with two tabloid hacks is an eye-opening experience. 4th April A police car appeared in front of us, flashing a sign saying "Police - Follow Me" like some latter-day messiah, with blue lights. We followed, of course, and pulled into a service station. The police car drove off and disappeared round a corner. Evidently not our saviour after all. 3rd April The first snow I've seen this year. In April, of all months. 2nd April Straining to read the illuminated sign through the white cloud that surrounds us. It reads 'Fog.' Helpful. 1st April Scruffy pigeons keep following me. 31st March :( 30th March Railway stations are terrible places to say goodbye. Quiet words are too easily lost in the noise of an approaching locomotive. 29th March I was going to write "everything I want to write is a cliché," only that's a bit of a cliché. Maybe writing this a cliché too. 28th March I saw a man with long, blue hair, wearing a long, blue, furry coat and carrying a big, blue handbag. You can try too hard to be different. 27th March As I fall asleep I compose deep and meaningful speeches, which come back to me, half-remembered and best forgotten, in the morning. 26th March If I fall over, in the middle of a forest, and there's no-one there to see me, do I need to feel embarrassed? 25th March I passed a woman feeding the birds. "They think they're elephants," she explained. 24th March The dawn chorus is really loud. And it starts well before dawn. It's not even as if they're tuneful - they just keep me awake. Oh well. 23rd March When I don't care about the weather, it's sunny; when I really want the sun to shine, it rains. 22nd March :) 21st March - You wouldn't want to end up in Swindon. 20th March There's a strong smell of fertiliser in the lab. I will assume that the plants outside the window are being nourished. The alternative explanations don't bear thinking about. 19th March It's almost like summer. It won't last. Every good day is balanced with a bad one. On average, Britain in just dull. 18th March There is a certain joy in making lots of plans and then ignoring them completely and doing nothing instead. It's what Saturdays were made for. Is a gratuitous self-reference really such a crime? 16th March There's a man in the lab who spends all day polishing things. Railings, doors. It seems a shame to touch the shiny handrails, but if people didn't, he'd be out of a job. 15th March I found a rocket motor in the back pocket of some old trousers. I left it there: it adds a certain spice to life to know that a freak accident could send your trousers 100ft in the air. 14th March 2000 Washing. Washing, washing, washing. A laundry backlog is a terrible thing. 13th March 2000 Tea. A ray of light in an otherwise dull day. 12th March 2000 I'd do something more constructive if it weren't so pleasant to be unconscious. 11th March 2000 - Will you take some photos to go on the dining room wall? 10th March 2000 Nick Sweeney pointed out that I have created a weblog. Suddenly I feel less enamoured with this page. 9th March 2000 Today has been nice and warm. So after a long winter of disuse, the heating in the lab has kicked in. 8th March 2000 I had my passport photo taken today. Despite having and using the option of taking and retaking the photos, I still obtained four identical images of myself with the usual expression of faintly perplexed constipation. I have this photo for the next ten years. 7th March 2000 It's been a long time since I had web pages worthy of the name. Possibly that period is continuing.... | |
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